Wednesday, November 16, 2016

I Cant Do this Alone..

Being a mom is hard! For the past week I cant even tell you how many times I found myself sitting in the hallway of the kids room crying listening to them cry as they both didn't want to nap. Yesterday I reached my breaking point. Saul hasn't been sleeping at all no naps no sleeping during the night it is exhausting! and on top of that Hannah has hit the terrible threes. She skipped over the terrible twos but this terrible three holy smokes its rough! Yesterday Hannah got sent to her room for getting in trouble and  I of course attempted to put Saul down for a nap. Both kids simultaneously screaming and crying and me sitting in the hallway silently crying along with them. I sat there with tears streaming down my face and I just prayed. I prayed to God to help me, give me the strength to get through this because I cant do this alone. Ive tried but I have failed. I have failed over and over again because I simply was trying to do things alone. I don't know why sometimes I think I am stronger than I am. Why I think I am wonder woman who can take care of everything without God. Now I am not saying I have run from my faith that is simply not true. But in the times of trials I forget to turn to Him, because during these rough times He truly is the only one who can give me rest. Not the close your eyes and go to sleep rest (even though I do need that) but, the rest that my heart and my mind need. This season is a rough one, Im trying to be a good wife to my husband, housewife to my house, and mother to my children. Without the help from God I will be drained easily and burned out and not enjoying this season as much as I could be. Honestly, the only thing I can think of is Satan knows I am weak right now. There is a lot going on in my life that I haven't shared yet on this blog, so he is attacking me. It doesn't help that I have PPD so there are days where I feel like a crappy human being anyway.  He knows my weakness just like God does but Satan being who he is attacks that and makes things so much worse! I need to pray and strengthen my faith even more during these times. I have learned the hard way that I cant do this alone and I plan on keeping that in the front of my mind because its a truth that I need to be reminded of daily. God doesn't give me more than I can handle, but sometimes I do feel pushed to my limits (aka surviving on no sleep) But I'm going to turn to Him and Ill get through it. So no matter what season of life you are in, remember your not in this alone!

XO
Leah

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