Thursday, May 18, 2017

Two Parts to Mothers Day


Mothers day is always a day filled with different types of emotions. This year Mothers day hit my like a ton of bricks. Not going to lie it was a terrific day (even though 3 out of 4 members of our tribe were sick) So why is it that towards the end of the day I felt overcome with Guilt and found myself crying outside?
Lets start at the begining of the day I was able to sleep in an extra hour thank you to my amazing husband.  After, we went to my favorite diner and I got my all time favorite breakfast, and I got to enjoy it while it was hot since Kyle cut and fed Saul. Once breakfast was over I got some DD coffee and I even got to go inside the store! First time seeing the inside of the New dunkin donuts haha yes its the litle things in life. Then the biggest suprise of the day going to Target! It was so nice perusing the aisles and Trying on clothes alone. Of course I could have spent all day in there but Saul was getting pretty restless.  So homeward bound we went. That night Homemade tacos and one of my favorite movies Clue. It was a perfect day celebrating being a mother to these two precious babes. Did I mention Kyle did the dishes too!
While Kyle was cooking dinner I felt so overcome with emotions that I went outside while the sun was setting and just cried. Dont get me wrong I am so incredibly thankful to be a mother to Hannah and Saul but I cant help feel like Im neglecting being a mother to Sage and Presley. Sage made me a mother for the first time but most people think it was Hannah because you can see her and shes the older out of her and Saul. But Nope I have been a mother since June 2012 even though Hannah wasnt born until Dec2013.  Its so hard to realize that I will never get homemade Mothers day cards from Sage or Pres, Ill never get to hug them squeeze them or tell them how proud I am. Ill never get to see them graduate high school, or get married. The thoughts of what I will be missing out came flooding to my mind and they were thoughts that well quite frankly I never thought about before. But why on Mothers day?
Because Mothers day is a celebration of mothers. Whether you can see the children that made those women mothers or not. Every woman should be celebrated, and my one hope is that every woman found a reason to smile that day.
XO
Leah