Sun sets on one day, and rises the next.

This past weekend I was able to go to our mid winter retreat with some of our bible conference guests from camp. (Thats why I didn't write last week since I was prepping for that.) As we got closer to leaving I was hit with the revelation that I was going back to the camp where I lost Presley. I was nervous (thankfully we were at their retreat facility instead of main camp) but, just being there brought back so many emotions and I'm going to be honest I was worried  that I would come home not pregnant again.
 The first night there I had a few minutes to sit outside and just stare at the stars. I remembered how I did that when I finally had a few free moments at camp after I learned that my dear Presley was born into Heaven. But this time everything felt different, the night sky was no doubt beautiful, but I wasn't crying out with a broken heart. This time I was praising God for the little one who was kicking from within.  Same stars different circumstances.
 The next morning as I was getting ready for my early med rounds I noticed how absolutely breathtaking the sun was as it was rising. It made me think how the sun setting and rising feels a lot like this past year. When we lost presley there wasn't much sun that week it was quite gloomy and looked how I felt. But no matter how it looked there, the sun still set every night and rose every day. To me, the sun setting always indicted the day coming to close and a sun rise is the start of a brand new day and a clean slate. This new baby is my sun rise. A new start, a beautiful beginning. When I snapped the picture of the sky this weekend I couldn't believe how different the two pictures were and how they showed excatly how I felt/feel.  I love how God can paint the sky to reflect how we feel and how always on point He is.
 I know this summer when I'm back at camp it may be rough again but I know I need to look to God and look towards the sky to see what beautiful painting he painted for me that day.

XO
Leah

Happy Birthday?

So this past Monday was my birthday. Yay for 27 years on earth! All day I received various messages of well happy birthdayness (i know it's not a real word) Anyway I started thinking what did I do to receive all these lovely greetings. Um nothing I just entered the world when my mom told me to lol. I didn't do any of the work. But do you know who did. My beautiful mother. She is the one whom carried me for nine months. She's the one who protected, sheltered, and fed me for those months. She's the one who endured the beauty (yet painful at times) of all of my wiggles and kicks. She was the one who had to change her wardrobe in order to accommodate "my home," and the fact she could no longer fit in a church pew. Than ultimately had major surgery to bring me into the world. What did I do during all of that...? Absolutely nothing lol so why are people wishing me the happy birthday and not my mom.

 I get that there is a general mothers day but I think that moms should be celebrated on the days they give birth too. Maybe since I'm a mom now and know just how beautiful and hard pregnancy is, and when hannahs birthday comes around I remember everything leading up to her delivery. Who knows. But I just want to say (even though I was her third child) Happy belated Motherhood (not birthday) day to my amazing mom who sacrificed so much so I could be here today! I love you mom!

XO

Leah

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Wow is it Saturday yet?  This has been one crazy week and really opened up my eyes to how not truthful and hurtful people can be. Two instances where I was lied to this week but two people I trusted. I know I know maybe it's because I'm pregnant I'm just more sensitive but none the less it's never nice to be lied to.
 First situation involved my unborn baby. I had the big ultrasound last week where they check the anatomy of the baby and make sure everything looks good. It's pretty much the ladst time I will see the baby until he/she will be born. Since this baby is a tad stubborn the tech couldn't get the best pictures of the heart. I get it and I'll probably have to go back for a second ultrasound no big deal. Well I get a call from my nurse saying that on my report they couldn't visualize the heart very well (knew that) but since the tech made me walk around,change positions and go to the bathroom and still couldn't see they would refer me to a specialist. Um what?!?! That never happened. I told my nurse he lied on the report because none of that happened. After a super long emotional day (and an extra free ultrasound) baby's heart looks perfect and the new tech could see everything. Why in the world did the guy lie causing a pregnant woman more stress and more worry! I'll never know but I'm glad my doctors and head of radiology are on my side and handled the situation
 Second situation. As cliche as it is I have a hard time making "real life" friends. Maybe it's because I'm socially awkward who knows. Anyway with each pregnancy I've found myself in social media groups with other moms due around the same time. Each woman is amazing and unique and it's always cool to share our stories and different life viewpoints if that makes sense. Anyway I'm in a new group obviously due in July. There are some girls I've grown super close to because of similar life situations. This morning I found out that one of the woman whom I've developed a friendship with isn't excatly who she said she was. I was shocked when I figured this out (I'm not going to go into detail) but my feelings were extremely hurt. I know people can be anything they want behind a computer screen, heck I'm writing this from my private yacht heading to the Bahamas ;) or from my living watching my two year refuse to keep pants on. I felt quite betrayed and just upset. Maybe I shouldn't trust people as easily as I have.
 In the end I feel like no matter what people will still hurt others with their words (and actions.) I mean this isn't the first time I've been lied to and I'm sure it won't be the last. But to the two people whom had  pretty big lies this week I wish them each the best and I could only hope they learn from both situations

XO
Leah