Evaulating life..

A few weeks ago a super scary situation happened to me and quite frankly Im still a little shaken up. I went to the ER with another ovarian cyst. I knew it burst and this wasnt the first time this has happened so  I knew what would happen while I was in the ER.  Of course I had no idea how fast things can go bad. As I was sitting in my ER room going through many tests to pretty much confirm the cyst pain, I was overcome with pain more unbearable than the contractions I felt giving birth twice. I hit my call bell my nurse friend came rushing in seeing how in pain I was  and got an order for more pain medication quickly. After sometime I finally got relief but I was feeling super nauseated and so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. All of a sudden I heard a bunch of beeping coming from the machine next to me and just like in the movies here comes the rush of staff oxygen thrown on me and the head of my bed lowered quickly. I got a glimpse of the machine to see my pulse ox dropped to 73. The nurse said my bp dropped quite low as well due to the pain meds but I didnt see what that was (I usually run  between 95/60-110/60 so I cant imagine what it was) In that moment I honestly thought I wasnt going to make it. Ive been through many different medical scares but nothing like that. I thought about Kyle how I wished I would have spent more time with him and been nicer to him on some occasions. I thought how I wish I would have spent more time playing with Hannah and watching Saul grow up. I know I know I probably overreacted and I was no where near death but it really shook my world. And I got to thinking what in the world has taken more of my time than my family? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks...social media
Social media you know instagram, facebook, the internet in general. My eyes are glued to my phone as I peruse the internet and looking at the way others live and spending more time with  said others instead of with my family so to speak. So I decided to take an internet break for about a week and man did it feel good! I didnt have the feeling of needing to know who broke up with who, what food someone was eating, the latest trends nothing. I spent time with my family in the moment and I loved every second of it, and to be honest I really debated on deleting all of my social media accounts. Of course as you can tell I decided not to (mainly because I think people would miss seeing Hannah and Saul) but Ive decided to really really limit my time on there as well as only go on certain times of the day. I hate how easy the internet is to access to be honest and not gonna lie I cant wait for my phone contract to be up so I can get a nonsmart phone and wont have the temptation right at the tip of my hands. But until then I'm going to put my phone in the drawer and go hangout with my family because Hannah and Saul will only be this young once and I dont want to miss any of it!

XO
Leah