#fightlikerocky

In today's world social media is huge! It can be used in a positive way but at the same time a negative way. If there are enough people involved something can "go viral" in a matter of minutes. Between selfies, memes, YouTube no wonder people are attached to their phones, and the Internet is the easiest way to get a message across. 

 A few weeks ago, through social media,I was introduced to a Mocc shop called hello_mess. The mom boss is a wonderful woman named Kimmie who was  was expecting her fourth child! What a woman! Everyone was waiting in anticipation for the birth announcement and shortly after, adorable Rocky was born. And boy is he adorable and I enjoyed the posts and pictures of a new squishy babe.  A few weeks after Rocky was born Kimmie wrote a heartbreaking post regarding Rockys new diagnosis tuberous sclerosis. I'm pretty sure everyone who read her blog,read it with tears streaming down their faces. If you want to read her blog and their story go check it out at hellomess.com. 

  Kimmie is such a sweetheart and this past week she even organized a Random act of kindness day in honor of her friends birthday. It was amazing! So of course when I was added to a secret group to mob the Ellen show regarding Kimmie and Rockys story I had to join! This woman is a mom just like myself so not only is she going through the every day hustle and bustle of motherhood, she's doing it while running her own shop and with a fragile child while trying to keep up with all the medical bills.  Last night was the night to "mob Ellen" aka post on all social media to get Ellen's attention so she could bring them on her show. 9pm rolled around the time to post and social media exploded with the photo (that you see below) and a specific caption. It was amazing to see all these individuals get together and use social media for something positive. Especially when it feels like you only see negativity every day. So I ask you, would you help this family get on the Ellen show and join this movement. Instead of posting another selfie or meme would you take a moment to upload this picture and caption to your social media and help out?  Will you use social media in a positive way to help out this deserving family today? If you do here is the caption 

Ellen, we want you on the #fightlikerocky team! #squadgoals! The IG community wants to see Rocky & his mom @hello_mess on @theellenshow! 

The @fightlikerocky wants to raise awareness about #tuberoussclerosis and the Ess Family is immensely deserving of your help! http://bit.ly/1Pn6vay

#ellenyouvebeenmobbed

#fightlikerocky #bekindtooneanother

As well as the picture posted 

 

XO

Leah 

Ps visit Kimmies blog to read all about Rocky hellomess.com

Thinking outside of the box

Those who have read my blog or know me personally know that dear dear Hannah has hit "turbo" twos early. Everything is go go go and there is no time to stop for anything including food. Meal times have become a struggle (to the point that I'm not sure which is worse napstrike or food strike.) I've fed her favorite meals but unless it's a banana or a piece of bread she isn't having it.  I feel like I've tried every trick in the book to get this girl to eat! We've even done the whole "you can't have a banana until you have 5 more bites" and boy are those last  5 bites terrible! I honestly can't remember the last time she's finished a meal without a fit or us having to substitute the food. I realized a few days ago that she likes it if I eat the same thing as she does so I've intentionally been doing that, but that's only helped a tad. Tonight was a whole other story!

  When you have a toddler who doesn't eat mealtime can be super stressful. I made one of her favorites but I was waiting for the few bites in and her saying she was finished. Right on cue it happened so the "5 bites and then you can be done" as well as the waterworks started. I looked around and saw this small blue toothpick holder on my lazy Susie. Now this toothpick holder isn't just an ordinary holder. I received this toothpick holder from my grandparents house after my grandpop passed. And me being sentimental kept the same toothpicks in there from when it was at his house. No new toothpicks have gone in and none have been used. Anyway back to the story, I remembered how much Hannah loves sorting and putting things away so I decided to pull out 5 toothpicks and tell her this is how many bites she has left. Everytime she takes a bite she can put a toothpick back. She agreed and hesitantly ate ALL 5 bites! I jokingly asked if she wanted to do it again. She did! So I poured out all the toothpicks. She was double fisting her food and at times forgot our "game." Well low and behold she ate her entire meal!!! As well as a banana! I am one proud mom and yes I totally patted myself on the back for that one! 

  Sometimes I think that I think too much about into the situation and how frustrating things are instead of thinking how to make things fun so we can both accomplish our goal...her eating, and me not going crazy.   Next time your in a tough situation maybe think about an out of the box way to fix it, or just look for a set of toothpicks 😉

XO

Leah

What am I doing wrong?

  I find myself asking this question almost weekly. Especially when Hannah is misbehaving which is why she is a permanent member of the time out club. The other night I asked Kyle that question and he gave me a great answer that

 I tend to forget in those moments. She is an independent child who quite frankly wants to test the limits. So what drove me to asking the question out loud with tears coming down my face? Well dinner, for some reason if it's not sleep strike it's mealtime strike. Okay I get it I'm not the greatest cook in the world and I've probably burnt more things than I'd like to fess up too. But for once the dinner actually turned out tasting pretty good. But it was still a meal and Hannah threw a fit screaming uncontrollably so she knows the drill, time out chair than back to eating. Not that night, she was back in her chair 5 bites left, so hysterical she made herself throw up everywhere! This has never happened and I stood in shock not knowing what to do. 

 After she got cleaned up and we established that that was not an appropriate response to the situation I sat and thought about the moms of the Bible. I bet they probably went through the same things. I could see Mary with her head in her hands as Jesus came inside covered in mud again. Sarah even in her old age asking Abraham what to do as Issac was climbing up a tree again after he was told not to. Or Leah as Levi and Simeon or any of her 6 sons were fighting with each other. 

  I have to remember that this mom struggle has been going on for thousands of years and I'm not alone. The moms, past present and future,have or will most likely struggle with the same feelings. But I have to remember she will only be (almost) 2 once and this phase won't last forever. Eventually she will grow up into a beautiful woman, get married, and have her own child and she will struggle with the same question "what am I doing wrong?" And I'll be there to tell her she isn't the only one. So if your a mom (or a dad) and you struggle with the same question just remember your doing nothing wrong. This is just a phase. And we will all get through this. 

XO

Leah

Going with your gut

I remember in grade school when the teachers would say that if you didn't know an answer going with your gut was the next best thing. There were plenty of times that I failed to do that and unfortunately got that answer wrong. One thing I didn't realize back then was that your gut instinct didn't stop once you were finished with your academics that it would transition into everyday life. As I've gotten older I feel like my gut instinct has gotten stronger and I've learned to trust it more. 

 With each of my pregnancys I had such weird gut instincts that I trusted no matter how hard it was to deal with. When I first found out I was pregnant with Sage,and after the initial shock of pregnancy, I had a weird feeling that I couldn't shake. I just knew that pregnancy was not going to end how I wanted no matter how much I begged God. And just like that two weeks later I got the devastating news. Fast forward a year and I found out I was pregnant with Hannah. The feeling I had this time was so different. I knew that things would work out and in the end I would hold a healthy beautiful baby. I was at peace ,even though there were still times of being nervous I was trusting in God to bring me and my baby through pregnancy and through a safe delivery. With Presley's pregnancy it was the same feeling as Sage. Even though his pregnancy went on longer than Sage's and was harder to deal with, I knew it wasn't going to end well. Yet again, it was a feeling I couldn't shake and as much as I tried to have that peace that I had with Hannah I couldn't find it. After we went through the surgery and I got yet another positive test in July I told Kyle that I didn't feel pregnant and that I felt it was still Presley. My gut, as horrible as the situation was, was correct again. 

 Pregnancy wasn't the only time I've had to trust my gut. Being a mom I've had to trust my motherly instincts which is similiar. Something I didn't think I would get but all mothers do. Those times when you just think something isn't right with your child so you take them to the doctors to find out you were right. Or the times your house is just a little too quiet and your motherly instinct tells you your daughter is probably pulling all the tissues out of the tissue box somewhere. Yup those instincts 

  The last example I have is just life gut instinct. This is one I've trusted and was probably the scariest situation I've ever been in. I was shopping with Hannah once and my gut was telling me something was wrong. I looked behind me to see a gentleman following us. At first I thought I was being paranoid so I was going through aisles and looked to see him down every aisle I was in but he didn't have a cart or basket.  I quickly went to check out to see this man looking at the women's clothing on the other side of the checkout behind me so I changed lanes and he moved behind me to look at jewelry. At that point I made sure to make eye contact and let him know "I see you" at that point I was kinda freaking out and called Kyle to come because I didn't want to be followed out of the store. Now I'm not saying that anything would have happened but my gut was saying something was not right and I had to trust it and boy am I glad I did. 

  As you can tell I've learned over and over again to trust my instinct. I'm not sure why God gave me such strong instincts but in glad he did. In a sense I feel like my gut instinct is actually Gods way of talking to me. Obviously I can't see him or have a face to face conversation. But those gut instincts are Him to give me a heads up on whatever life situation I'm going through at that moment, and no matter what I'm going to trust it. Has there ever been a time you've had to trust your gut? 

XO

Leah

Mommy Mistakes

I'm not the first to admit fault and I'm not quite sure why. Human nature? Pride? No idea but I feel like these past few weeks I've made a ton of "mommy mistakes." But  The other night at dinner I feel like was the worst. You see daddy was away for nearly 12hours, Hannah was in the midst of sleep strike meaning mommy hasnt slept in who knows how long and the dog had fleas  all that put together means mommy reached her boiling point. I was getting Hannah dinner and counting down the hours until bed time when the icing on the cake of a long day happened. Hannah was yet again refusing to eat and decided to throw dinner all over the ground. Instead of collecting my thoughts I did something I instantly regretted. Slammed my hands on the table and yelled "I'm finished."  I immediately looked at hannahs stunned look, I couldn't believe what I just did so I had to walk away and just cry. I couldn't believe I just yelled and I'm not talking a quiet yell but a yell that I'm sure my neighbors heard. How the heck did I let my emotions get so out of control? Was it lack of sleep? My PPD rearing its ugly head again? What caused me to lose myself in that instant. If you notice in each of those I never once blamed Hannah because quite frankly it's not her fault (yes she shouldn't throw food on the ground granted but that shouldn't result in my anger.). God gifted me with this beautiful stubborn strong willed little lady and boy oh boy is she strong willed but ultimately It's my job as a mom to teach her and guide and quite frankly yelling accomplishes zero except maybe makes your child be afraid of you which I don't want to do. 

  After a few moments of crying on the couch and feeling like an awful awful mom I went back over to Hannah and apologized and she forgave me, obviously she can't really verbalized it yet but the long hug she gave me did the trick. I'm hoping in the future that this won't happen again I can't make any promises but I never want to get that angry and yell that loudly at my child again. I'm sure there will still be frustrating situations and sleepless nights but I really really need to learn to step back, breath, evaluate the situation and think before I act. I'm so glad that I was given a new day and Hannah is a very forgiving girl and doesn't seem to hold a grudge. 

 In the end I'm a normal, non perfect human who is trying to navigate through this season of life. Im sure I'll make more mistakes but I'm thankful that I've been given this opportunity to be a mom and to teach Hannah how to forgive. I wish I was able to forgive as easily as she did. I'm so proud and thankful for her 

XO

Leah 

Happy Anniversary!

One year ago today I started this little journey. Never thinking anyone would actual read or care what I had to say. But you do! I wish I could give every single one of you a hug as corny at that sounds. This past year has sure been a whirlwind of life experiences that turned into blog posts. My emotions have been so raw at times that this was the perfect outlet to express that. On the other end of the spectrum there have been times that have been too funny not to share. But from the bottom of my heart thank you to each and every one of you who reads my blog. When I go on my dashboard and see the views increase I #1 can't believe it #2 am very overjoyed. So for those of you that have been here since the beginning thank you and I hope you continue reading. For those who have just joined the past few weeks or even today Welcome! And I hope you enjoy what you read! See you all Wednesday!

XO

Leah

Lose weight, wait and lose

A Picture speaks a thousand words or so they say. A few weeks back I saw a picture of myself right before I got pregnant with hannah and thought,Oh my goodness I was so tiny and yet back then I thought I was big. What was I thinking?!?! But we are our own biggest critics. I've never been one who struggled with my weight. In high school I was very athletic and maintained a healthy weight same with the first few years of marriage. But then between working the nigh shift at the hospital and depression following the lose of Sage food became my emotional outlet I guess you would say. My eating was out of control and I gained 30-40lbs in a short period. Right before I got pregnant with Hannah I got my butt in gear to lose all of that weight and I was on the right track. But thanks to pregnancy I gained a whooping 50lbs at least that's what the scale said on the day I delivered. From walking, nursing and well giving birth I was able to drop 30 of that 50 fast. But the rest has been a struggle. Honestly the first year of being a new mother between the sleep depervation and praying I was doing everything right in this season of motherhood losing weight was not on my brain's radar until I went to the doctor. One day at the doctors office I saw on my form "pregnancy complications due to obesity" what??  I didn't have any pregnancy complications and I did not think I was obese there must be something wrong. But at last due to the wonderful thing called BMI I am considered obese. What happened to that athletic girl in high school where did she go? Did life just get to her and food became the only outlet she could find? And as I look at pictures I can see that. 

  I look at pictures of myself now and I honestly think to myself that in the future I do not want to look back on a picture I took in the last few weeks and think the same thing I thought above. Oh my goodness I was skinny and thought I was big. I want to look back and think, " wow Leah, look at all the hardwork you did and how much it payed off" (as well as go to the doctors and show them that the "obese" girl is no longer here.) 

 Now I'm not saying  I'm going to lose every pound,especially since we don't own a scale anymore because the number on a scale is not a healthy obsession, but I just want to be happy and healthy. I want to wake up in the morning with confidence and just overall feel good about myself. Even if I have to wake up at 5 and get on my bike to achieve that goal. Losing weight is difficult and can be quit frustrating but, if I wait to long to lose it than my journey will end up being harder. 

XO

Leah

P.s. That picture is a picture of a girl getting her confidence back one bike ride at a time.